I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
