butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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