Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
