He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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