this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
