and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't turn off my feet"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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