she was so not down for the gang bang
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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