Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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