We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize