I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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