I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
