Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
