You're so nebulous sometimes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
