That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
