I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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