I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize