Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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