Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
