apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
