I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
