he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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