I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
