dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
