butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
