from now on my penis is your penis
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
