i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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