She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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