You just made me feel so damn special
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
