I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize