so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
