You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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