Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
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Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view