Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.