I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you traded sex for a burrito?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed