I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?