Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.