wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
