I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My bed smells like the plague
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