can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
