you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
