im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
