M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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