my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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