we're blogging at a bar
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
