he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
