I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
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Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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