I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
