Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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