he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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