thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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