There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
