you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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