So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
