i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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