Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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