I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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