That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
