omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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