This girl is more easily done than said...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
