so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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