I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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