At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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