I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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