I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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