Nicole vs. Life
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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