So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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