and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize