He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
