in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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