I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
