ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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